Leaving

My Thoughts 

Empty

I hope you guys don't mind this is a more personal post. But, as this is a blog, I'm sure that's why you're here.

I know I haven't posted in quite a long time. And this is going to be my last post for the next two years. So, this will be a bit longer (and more personal) than usual.

IN CASE ANYONE DOESN'T KNOW, I'm leaving in 6 days to serve a mission in Guadalajara Mexico for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Also known as Mormons. So that's what this post is about; how I'm feeling before I leave.

Assuming, of course, you guys want to know all that stuff. :)

In getting ready to go I feel: crazy, nervous, excited, anxious, stoked, out-of-my-mind-that-I'm-leaving-the-country, scared, safe, protected, and that I'm doing the right thing. I don't think that I've felt so many things all at once in my life before. But, there it is.

I'm going to miss a lot of things. A lot of people. A WHOLE lot of people. But I trust that these next two years will be the best of my life, and that I will grow a little be more into the man who God wants me to be. I trust Him. I am dedicating my life to Him for two whole years. I know that for that, I will be blessed beyond anything I can imagine. I love God, and I can't wait to serve Him by serving the people in Guadalajara Mexico.

Lately, in getting ready to go in getting things, and packing them, sorting through my stuff, I get a little sad. Sometimes a little empty, since all this is going to be irrelevant for the next two years. But I know when I get back all of this will become a brand new adventure.

Sometimes, I like to write poetry. And sometimes, I like to share it. A few days ago I tried to write out my thoughts and it sort of came out as a poem. As follows:

11/4/2016 (Journal Entry)

I'm happy.
But I'm dying inside.
These happy times,
Are all about to end.
No.
I don't have cancer.
No. 
These are happy times.
I'm leaving my home for two years.
To overcome my fears.
And talk to people. 
Share with them the gospel,
The plan of salvation,
How to be happy, 
The story of creation. 
Yes. 
I really am sad.
I'm leaving a few friends behind, 
To save a few souls.

In getting ready to go, I've been saying goodbye to people I work with, and to my friends. But I've found I can't get myself to say the words, "Good bye." So I always say, "see you later." 

In this life or the next, I'll see you later. 

Be back in 2 years.